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Source global Wall Street Journal     time 2022-01-14 21:09:17
Typefacelarge in Small
但此处,她倏地将墨水泼在纸上,希望永远挡住人们的目光。她浑身颤抖,心乱如麻。让不受意志控制的灵感驱动墨水流淌,再没有比这更可憎的事了。她究竟怎么啦?什么原因?难道是潮湿,还是巴特洛莫或巴斯克特?原因究竟在哪里?她追问着。但房间里空空荡荡,无人回答她的问题,只有雨打常春藤的滴答声。

所幸奥兰多体格强健,(因上文指出的原因而罹患的)疾病打垮过他的许多同龄人,却从未打垮过他。但他中毒至深,以后的故事会表明这一点。有天晚上,他在读托马斯•布朗爵土的书,读了差不多一小时,外面传来牡鹿的叫声和守夜人的喊声,表明万籁俱寂的深夜已经来临。他走到房间对面的墙角,从口袋里拿出一把银钥匙,打开嵌在墙里的一个大柜子。柜里大概有五十个雪松木抽屉,每个抽屉上面都贴了一张标签,上面是奥兰多工整的笔迹。他犹豫了一下,好像是拿不定主意,究竟打开哪个抽屉。一张标签上写着埃阿斯之死”,另一张写着皮拉姆斯的诞生”,其他分别写着奥利斯的伊菲格涅亚”、希波吕托斯之死”、默勒阿格洛斯”、奥德修斯之归来”等等(埃阿斯、皮拉姆斯、伊菲格涅亚、希波吕托斯、默勒阿格洛斯、奥德修斯均为希腊神话中神的名字。)。事实上,这些标题几乎个个涉及身处逆境的神话人物。每个抽屉里都放着厚厚的一叠手稿,都是奥兰多亲手所写。事实上,奥兰多罹患此病已有多年。奥兰多儿时对纸张的贪求,比男孩讨吃苹果都要强烈;对墨水的贪求,也要赛过他们讨吃甜食。他常常在谈话和游戏进行中间溜走,藏在窗帘背后,或躲在牧师的小房间里,或藏到母亲卧房后面的柜子里,那里的地板有个大洞,散发出紫椋鸟粪的可怕味道。他会一手端着牛角制的墨水瓶,一手拿笔,膝上放一卷纸。就这样,未满二十五岁,他已经用散文体或韵文体、法文或意大利文完成了四十七部剧本、历史故事、爱情故事和诗歌,而且全是大部头的浪漫传奇。有一部书稿他让奇普塞德圣保罗教堂十字架对面的约翰•保尔的羽饰和头饰店印了出来。每次看到它,他都会欣喜若狂,但他从不敢拿给母亲看,因为他知道,对贵族来说,写作已是莫大的耻辱,遑论出版。

So then he tried saying the grass is green and the sky is blue and so to propitiate the austere spirit of poetry whom still, though at a great distance, he could not help reverencing. ‘The sky is blue,’ he said, ‘the grass is green.’ Looking up, he saw that, on the contrary, the sky is like the veils which a thousand Madonnas have let fall from their hair; and the grass fleets and darkens like a flight of girls fleeing the embraces of hairy satyrs from enchanted woods. ‘Upon my word,’ he said (for he had fallen into the bad habit of speaking aloud), ‘I don’t see that one’s more true than another. Both are utterly false.’ And he despaired of being able to solve the problem of what poetry is and what truth is and fell into a deep dejection.


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